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SELLERS
Stone Landing? That's Napoleon, we couldn't get an appropriation for Stone Landing, the name would kill it [you know. And Goose] Run [is Columbia River on our new maps.]
HAWKINS
So you after an appropriation, are you?
SELLERS
After an appropriation? The first thing you know the appropriation will be after us; Congress never had such an opportunity to distinguish itself, it will jump at it. The President will jump at it— [There'll be a general stampede of all the nations of the earth to settle at Napoleon, and then you'll see town lots go away up to the clouds.] All you've got to do is to calculate how much money you want, [then just] sit down and rake it in.
HAWKINS
But about this appropriation, who's going to engineer the bill through Congress?
SELLERS
Who? Why my friend Senator Dilworthy! Oh, he's a great man, a noble man, and a good man too. Well, a man has to be good to succeed in these days. Now, he's only been in Congress [two] years and he's worth a million.
MRS. HAWKINS
Well! we live to learn. I've always been taught that goodness was mighty poor truck to get rich on.
SELLERS
That was in the olden time Nancy, things have changed now. Why, to show you how good a man Dilworthy is, when he came with me, he said, "Mulberry, when do you have prayers, before breakfast of after breakfast?" Well, I had to speak right out. I had to tell him we didn't have them at all, that is—not steady. He said he understood business interruptions and all that, but for himself, he never forgot the ordinances of religion. He [doubted if] the Columbia River Appropriation would pass if we [didn't have the Divine blessing on it.]
(UNCLE DANIEL runs from
rear of stage [with CHILDREN.)UNCLE DANIEL
Look he'ah Massa Sellers—look he'ah. What's a coming?] A whoopin and a tearin down the river.
([ALL cheer as] small boat is
seen crossing rear of stage.)SELLERS
Si! There's a Steamboat race! There's some- thing to amuse you. There's the Boreas , and [here comes our boat] the Amaranth !
(Large Boat approaches.)
I'm going on board her—
(Explosion of large Boat. Bustle and confusion.
[SELLERS falls into HAWKINS' arms.)Busted by Jupiter!]
Tableaux
and
[Quick ] Curtain
