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MRS. HAWKINS
(Aside.)

I never saw such an eternal old mill to grind out fortunes.

SELLERS

Hogs and corn are all well enough in their way, but I have something now that will astound the world. [The most stupendous, gigantic, enormous speculation. All the nations of the earth will marvel at it!] All I lack is one ingredient.

MRS. HAWKINS
(Aside.)

Oh! Yes, he only lacks one ingredient, now that was what was the matter with his plaguey perpetual motion machine that wouldn't work.

SELLERS

If I find that lacking ingredient, you'll hear of Sellers' Infallible, Oriental, Optical Liniment, a salvation for sore eyes. [The medical wonder of the age.] I can make it for 30 cents a barrel and sell it for 50 cents a bottle. I'll sell a hundred thousand bottles the first year, there's a profit of over $64,000; next year, I'll sell two hundred thousand bottles, there's a profit of over $124,000; next year, I'll sell a million, there's a profit of over $600,000, just think of that. Then I'll go to Europe, next year I'll go to Asia. Now Asia's my spot. They're waiting for me now. Every man, woman, and child in Asia has sore eyes, they'll all want a bottle, the more they use, the more they'll want. There are four hundred million people in Asia with sore eyes, that's eight hundred million sore eyes, each one with a bottle to it. "There's millions in it," millions in it. I wouldn't take five millions for my royalty out of Asia alone.

(Goes up stage with LAURA as MR. HAWKINS enters.)

HAWKINS

Well, Nancy, the man's gone.

MRS. HAWKINS

And— And you didn't sell the land Si?

HAWKINS

No, Nancy, I— I couldn't . I hadn't the heart to rob the poor children. Besides, he only offered five thousand.