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CLAY
(Aside with wry face.)Well, this is— this is— If there's one thing I hate with my whole heart, it is raw turnips, and the water makes them swell, and—
(Aloud.)
Oh excellent Colonel, excellent.
SELLERS
(Takes up a turnip.)[They are Malcombs, you can always tell a Malcomb by the shape.] See how firm and juicy they are. There's only one farm in the Country that can produce those turnips.
(CLAY looks surprised.)
They come from New Jersey. I import them myself; they cost like sin, but I never economize on my nourishment. The supply is never equal to the demand. I can get you a barrel or two if you like.
(CLAY declines by action.)
The plague can't come where [these] turnips are.
CLAY
The plague, what plague?
SELLERS
Why, the regular old Asiatic plague that depopulated London some two centuries ago.
CLAY
But how does that concern us Colonel? We've no plague here.
SELLERS
Well, Clay the plague is coming here. I didn't mean to tell you, but I don't mind, as you're one of the family. You know Mc Dowell, the surgeon?
(CLAY assents by action.)
Well, he told me all about it, he's the best plague surgeon we've got. He'd kill me if he thought I mentioned it. He says it's coming here sure, it'll be here in three months time, [and when ever it lays it grip on you, you've got to make out you will. But there's one preventative,] raw turnips and cold water. You eat from six to eight turnips at every meal, and drink from a pint and a half to two quarts of water, [and sit around a couple of hours, and let 'em ferment,] you may defy the plague.
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